My name is Sankesh (call me Sanka) and I live in the UK. A long time ago, a hat decided that I shall be a Vikings fan and here I am 10 years later still bleeding purple. The time difference gives me a sleep deprived perspective of our favourite team. I am always overly optimistic about how good our team is…
Here we are, a bye week! We have feasted on 11 weeks of Vikings football with a lot of ups and downs, tears and smiles, cursing and well, more cursing. And now we are left with a void whilst most of the other fan bases are watching their team in week 12. So how do we fill this hole? Well, I have some suggestions:
1. Talk to your partner
Okay, I can hear the groans. I get it! You have had an excuse for 11 weeks on a Sunday afternoon/evening to avoid “talking”. You have managed to survive by either replying with a grunt or just pointing at the screen indicating you are watching the game. But we have crucial stretch coming up before the playoffs so you need to jump on this grenade. Take the hit, put the phone away and listen to your partner. Listen about that bitch, Karen at work, debate why The Notebook is a classic and ask how their family is doing. Get it out of the way and buy yourself another potential 11 weeks of peace
2. Spend time with the kids
Some of you are out there saying “my kids watch football with me”. Well thanks for the humble brag – we don’t give a shit about you guys. Some of us have kids that still need their asses wiped. To those fellow sufferers, think of this one as an investment. Spend this bye week with them. Wipe that ass. Build the Lego castle. Have a that tea party. Paint those nails. Take them to birthday parties. And one day, when they are old enough to understand double coverage, they will sit with you and cheer the Purple too!
Every person out there has a list of jobs that needs completing. The efficient ones amongst us would have already knocked out the majority of these before the season started and the weather was warmer. For the rest of us, this is the weekend to dust off that list and crack on. That TV has been sitting on the old coffee table for too long. Put the wall mount up, mount that bad boy, bring the coffee table next to the couch and you got yourself a beer holder and a foot rest for week 13.
4. Organise a meet up with non-football friends
“Do you watch football?”
“I just watch the Super Bowl”.
For fuck sakes… Unfortunately, we all have them. But you need to keep them around because they are either related to you or have the same blood type. And you never know when you might need a kidney
Drop them a “’Sup?” this weekend, go the bar or the mall and get keep them sweet for another 11 weeks. Maybe buy them a Caribou?
5. Get the dog neutered
So picture this; Dalvin is slicing up the defence, Kirk is throwing bombs and Danielle is killing QBs. And then you feel your dog humping your leg. “I get it Bruno, you need some action. But I don’t want any other dogs around here.” So take the poor dude to the vets and kill his manhood. Not because you hate the guy, but so you can watch the Vikings without having dog semen on your leg. It is for the greater good…
6. Go Shopping for a TV
If I am having to explain this you are doing it wrong. Just go out and get that 65 inch beast for that DIY project you just fished from #3. You deserve it!
Sanka | Minnesota Sports Fan
Happy bye week SKOL nation!
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