The Most Minnesota Twins Playoff Loss Ever.

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Photo: WCCO

Tuesday was a blustery fall afternoon in the Twin Cities area and, even if you couldn’t hear the cheers while walking by, the Minnesota Twins were playing game 1 of a postseason game vs the Houston Astros inside the limestone walls of Target Field. Only family members and employees, including Joe Mauer and Paul Molitor apparently, were allowed to be in attendance.

Before the game, Josh Donaldson was ruled out with his nagging calf injury, but Byron Buxton was allowed to return, after being hit in the head with a fastball over the weekend. When Alex Kirilloff was called up overnight, the fan base was in disarray. But then, the first pitch came and we were playing baseball again.

1st Inning

In the bottom half of the 1st inning, the Twins got frisky but couldn’t seal the deal, with the bases loaded. Buxton singled, with one out in the inning, then Kepler and Sano both walked. Rosario proceeded to piss on a line drive that was caught by Yuri Gurriel at first base and Sano hit a dribbler to 3rd that he couldn’t beat out.

Inning over.

3rd Inning

The Twins left runners on base all night, but got their lone run in the 3rd inning. Cruz hit a missile over Josh Reddick’s head in right. Because there were two outs, Kepler was off with the crack of the bat and scored in a close play at home. Twins hit the scoreboard first but the game got a little boring from there.

5th Inning – Greinke Out

Greinke was pulled before the bottom of the 5th inning and he was pissed about it. He took his mask, went into the first row of seats above the dugout and sulked for the Twins-half of the inning. I can’t blame him, but the move worked for Houston.

Framber Valdez started the 5th inning by walking two hitters but those two runners were just about all he let on for the rest of the game. He was completely dominant and the Twins had absolutely no answer for him.

7th Inning

Finally, the Astros broke their silence in the 7th inning and it started with two outs. Reddick and Maldonado both singled, before Springer got a hit, that scored Reddick. Maldonado is an idiot and got thrown out at 3rd base right after the one run was scored.

9th Inning

This is where shit all hit the fan. Sergio Romo was brought in after a surprisingly clean 8th inning by Taylor Rogers. Unless Baldelli was going to hand the ball to Odorizzi, I don’t know where else he could have gone. I would question why we took Maeda out so early? The Twins now enter a win-or-go-home game 2 tomorrow, with a taxed bullpen and Jose Berrios starting on the bump.

That’s a blog for another hour, though.

The Minnesota Way to Lose

This had to have been the most Minnesota way any team has ever lost a baseball game. Romo allowed hits from the first two batters of the inning, before pulling two straight outs from his ass. Then, George Springer hit an inning-ending ground ball to Jorge Polanco at shortstop… or so we thought.

We’re not talking about a difficult play or even screwing up an easy ground ball (Bill Buckner style). No, this was a sunday-hop ground ball that just needed to be tossed to second base. How Polanco fucked up this throw will forever haunt my dreams.

Nobody scored, though, and the bases were loaded with two outs and Jose Altuve at the plate. Altuve got approximately 3 hits all season but clearly, Romo was afraid of throwing strikes to anyone. He wasn’t the same “in your face” hyped-up Sergio. He was nibbling and it cost him.

Yes, he walked Jose Altuve AND the winning run, across home plate. He was then pulled and replaced by Caleb Thielbar (now our 5th pitcher of the game), who gave up the hit that essentially ended any hopes the Twins had of making a comeback.

This is What the Twins Do.

This is peak Twins. Even in games where they don’t get blown out and suck the entire 9 innings, something fucked up enough happens, you almost wish they had been blown out again.

How does your veteran shortstop and a World Series winning relief pitcher both choke away a playoff game, like ours did today? That doesn’t happen to anyone else but the Minnesota Twins.

This makes 17-straight playoff losses, which would be completely impossible for any other franchise, in any other sport. You could run a college team out there and win one of seventeen games. Now, my worst fear has been realized. Jose Berrios will take the mound for a do-or-die game 2, tomorrow.

If we’ve learned anything from Twins playoff baseball or Jose Berrios over the last handful of years, it’s that we can expect this series to be over by the end of tomorrow afternoon.

See you then.

Eric Strack | Minnesota Sports Fan

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