Happy Thursday to everyone who isn’t a delusional Green Bay Packers fan. What a beautiful week it has been. The Vikings are jumping up power rankings all over the internet and the only negativity surrounding the purple and gold comes from PTSD-ridden fans who can’t trust their eyes and lazy national writers who can’t wrap their minds around how much money Kirk Cousins made per attempted pass last weekend (approximately $171,875/throw).

But, our MN delusional negativity pales in comparison to the delusional positivity surrounding this new Green Bay Packers defense, the Vikings will face this weekend. I suppose that, when your expectedly high-powered offense has a historically terrible week 1, you need to focus on the positives… or what you believe them to be, anyway.

The Packers are sporting 8 new starters on defense. Yes, 8 of their 11 defensive starters are new….. When your defense has been horse shit (this is not a call for breakfast, Eagles fans) for as long as Green Bay’s has, I guess that’s a good thing. But in the real world, where people don’t walk around with cheese on their heads, people realize that good defenses don’t come together overnight; not any that are sustainable for an entire season.

It’s not just the amount of new faces on defense, that Green Bay fans should be concerned with, though. New or old, their entire secondary is fucking terrible…. outside of Amos. How do I know? Find me a better measuring stick than Madden Ratings. I’ll wait.

Yet, all we’ve been hearing about all week is how improved the Packers defense is, because they held the Bears to 3 points in week 1. I watched almost all of Thursday night’s game between GB and CHI and I just saw two teams playing really shitty football. Have we pondered that Mitch Trubisky and the Bears offense just isn’t very good? 

No. No, we haven’t. Because it’s the Packers and even when Aaron Rodgers looks like the shit you took yesterday, everyone still wants to praise the green and yellow. That’s fine, because the Vikings are going to expose them this weekend in Lambeau, in front of all of their owners fans. It’s going to be a blowout and the outcome is going to be obvious, early. The best part of the day, will be Kirk Cousins’ performance. 

As you’ve seen, the Packers’ secondary challenges the term “professional”, but their front-four can wreak serious havoc. The Vikings will need to protect Kirk Cousins long enough for Thielen and Diggs to expose those terrible DB’s. #8 is out to show what he can do, after a week of unfounded criticism for his lack of pass attempts last week, and Lambeau will be his proving grounds. 

Prediction: Vikings: 31 Packers: 17

I can’t wait to watch Wisconsin go into complete panic-mode, after two bad weeks of the Rodgers/La Fleur combo. It’s going to be glorious.

Eric Strack | Minnesota Sports Fan